Bedtime Prayers:



 Help me God, to sleep tonight, 

 Till the sun's new morning light.

 Help me then to  do what's right,

 Just what's pleasing in your sight.

 

Thank you, God, for  food and    toys.

For little girls and  little boys.

Help me sleep, and then to do

Only that which pleases you.



 Thank you, God, for this good day,

 Help me as I try to pray.

 All of us depend on you,

 Daddy, Mama, and  baby do,

 Jacob, Monica, and Veronica do,

 Grandpa, Grandma, and Holminy too.  



 (for this last, insert the names of whoever is relevant, with as

many verses ending in "do" as necessary)







 January 11, 2001

Eric Rasmusen, erasmuse@indiana.edu





THOUGHTS ON TODDLER PRAYERS



Is conventional, rhyming,  bedtime prayer good for 1-year-olds? 



 No, some would say. They cannot understand the prayers  and even if

they can say them, it is just rote memorization. When they grow old

enough to understand, they should say prayers in their own words,

rather than ritualistically. And prayer is useless unless it is

completely voluntary, so   parents should not push it on their

children.



That is wrong, I think. Prepared bedtime prayer is good for a number

of reasons.



1. Children grow into it. Prayer should start when the child is

definitely too young to understand it. The father or mother should

say the prayer at bedtime. The child should do what he is able to do.

At first maybe all he can do is listen. Then, he can be quiet and

listen. Later,  he can fold his hands and listen. Then he can say

"Amen" at the end, with prompting ("Say 'Amen', Bobby!") at first,

and eventually without. Finally, he can say the prayer itself.



It may not be until after all of these stages that Bobby can

understand the words of the prayer. But there will come an age at

which he can understand, and will really be praying like an adult. If

your goal is to get him  to pray like an adult, starting with a rote

prayer will do that most quickly. When the day comes when his brain

is big enough, he will have the tools, habit, and occasion ready.



2. Children should become accustomed to prayer language and habits.

Even if a child cannot understand words, they have some impact on

him. If he hears the word "God" and "pray", he will get used to the

idea that these are regular parts of living.



3. A child's prayer is part of the family's prayer. If the child does

not understand the prayer, it is really the prayer of the parent who

is saying it for him or with him, or who taught him to say it. That

does not make it less a prayer; it just is a different person's

prayer. But it is not really a different person's prayer-- it is a

family prayer,  a policy of the family,  approved by the head of the

family for the family good.



  Moreover, it may well be that unconscious prayer still matters for

good or evil. If you found that you had been supporting a charity

which turned out to be using the money to deal in heroin, would you

not feel you had done something evil, even though it was not

intentional?  Or if you were praying with a group of strangers, and

at the end of their prayer  it turned out that they were saying the

prayer to Krishna, not Jehovah, wouldn't you have been unknowingly

worshipping a false God?  The obverse holds when you do something

good unwittingly. It is still good, even though having a good

intention would have been even better.



4. Prayer is a good bedtime ritual. Even irreligious people know that

a child goes to sleep  more easily if he repeats the same pattern of

behavior every night.  Why not make prayer part of the ritual? It has

the useful psychological elements. It is quiet,  it can be done while

lying down, and it involves soothing words.



   If  the prayer rhymes and is the same every night   that helps

with at least three of these four uses. It is easier to say and to

understand, so the child will be able to truly say it on his own

sooner. For the same reasons, it is better for accustoming the child

to religious language and as a ritual. And such a prayer is not

confining. The parent or child can add other prayers to the rhyming

part that is the same every night. The child should, of course, learn

to do so at some age-- perhaps at age 4 or 5.  If the parent does his

duty, the child will learn to add extemporaneous prayer, but  if the

parent neglects this, the  memorized  prayer is  all the more

important. If the parent is neglectful in that way, then the

memorized prayer is all the child has to fall back on, and it is not

a bad thing to fall back on. God can use that prayer, or memory of

that prayer, in the person's later life, as a seed for the work of

grace.



  It is, of course, important to pick a good prayer if the same one

is to be used every night.  The prayer does not have to be the same

in every household, though  it is also prideful to think it is best

to have a unique prayer of your own. The prayer  does not have to be

rhyming, though that is a big advantage. An alternative is a prayer

direct  from Scripture, such as the Lord's Prayer (though praying for

one's daily bread is not appropriate at bedtime).  I am not sure

which prayer is best-- and I welcome suggestions.