Jones and Cummings won the one and two mile runs.
1. Use the active voice, not the passive voice. 2. Do not use "respectively" when it adds no meaning.
He said he was not sick.
1. Do not use "stated" when you mean "said". 2. "That" is optional here--it is okay to use it, or okay not to use it.
Indiana University's students believe it is a very good university indeed.
1. The phrase "student body" usually just means "students". 2. Rearranging allows a little bit of shortening without loss of meaning.
This sentence is okay as is. It can be slightly improved, however, by writing it as:
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton plans to focus this year on improving health care, starting with a proposal to modernize the sharing of medical information nationwide.
Its use is wrong.
The effect is to reduce clarity.
I would never lose my place in line.
Their websites are poorly designed.
There is no place for someone who does not wish to work hard.
We will not tolerate something like embezzlement. That is wrong under all circumstances.
We will not tolerate something like embezzlement; that is wrong under all circumstances.
We will not tolerate something like embezzlement that is wrong under all circumstances.
We will not tolerate something like embezzlement, which is wrong under all circumstances.
Each of these four variants is correct, but they do have slightly different meanings. Which meaning is correct depends on the context.
A short war, e.g., the Yom Kippur War, is much less expensive than a long war.
or
A short war such as the Yom Kippur War is much less expensive than a long one.
Here, you could not say "A short war-- that is, the Yom Kippur War-- ..." so "i.e." is improper. You could say "A short war--for example, the Yom Kippur War--", so "e.g." is okay.
In the present class, i.e., G492, you may always ask questions.
In G492 you may always ask questions.
This committee will be made up of nine people, no more than two of whom may be from the finance department.
This committee will be made up of nine people, of whom no more than two may be from the finance department.
Both variants are fine, but do avoid the word "persons" when you mean "people".
It was difficult; we lacked the funds to finish the project on time.
It was difficult. We lacked the funds to finish the project on time.
It was difficult, because we lacked the funds to finish the project on time.
These variants are all okay.
Each cash flow needs its own discount rate.
It's never appropriate to do that.
As the house was dilapidated, I bought it cheaply.
This sentence is okay as is.
A panda usually eats shoots and leaves.
I will always remember my first job in Boston as a nightmare.
This region was surveyed in 1900.
He was dishonest and overpaid, and should not have been hired in the first place.
He was dishonest, overpaid, and should not have been hired in the first place.
Works of fiction are listed by author.
The word "respective" is rarely helpful.
This sentence is okay as is. It is also okay to write
Some doctors, hospitals, and pharmacies already use electronic health records.